Preemptive Retaliation

Which isn’t a nice thing to really say out loud, but now that I’ve said that out loud, I’m not sure why I think that either.

I’ve written a few times before about difficulty in videogames. In one entry I’m sure I lamented the idea of difficulty at all, and wanted to revel in a power fantasy. A way of capturing a feeling that often eluded me in my normal life. But then I played Elden Ring, and I played Celeste, and the idea of difficulty in games changed. I enjoyed hard games. Celeste was a zen-like experience at times. Elden Ring was tough but was always offset by this great feeling of achievement, of exploring more and more and overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds. Hell, eight years ago I completed Hollow Knight. Twice. I like difficulty. I can handle difficulty.

But I can’t handle difficulty that isn’t fun.

And that’s the problem that I’m having with Silksong. It’s tougher than the first game, it’s unforgiving and devious, but it isn’t fun. Small enemies take many frustrating hits to take down, and otherwise pester you. Larger enemies can be fun and unpredictable, but then they crowd you and gang up on you, making a battle less of a tactical dance and more of a confusing scramble to find your bearings. It’s a common complaint I’ve had, where I’m battling a boss or a gauntlet, and the game ramps up the difficulty by throwing more very aggro’d enemies at me. And yeah, that is more difficult, but it’s not difficult in a fun way. And it also has one of my least favourite measures of difficulty, which is all the enemies are bullet sponges. So, again, it’s less about having a good battle and dancing around each other and more about slogging through multiple phases of increasing fervour (and increasing enemies), hoping that the game doesn’t force you into a corner to finish you off before you can finish it. And there’s no skill in that. And then, to top it all off, if you die during these fights there’s an eon of travelling needed just to get back to it, so the slog continues as you navigate your way through a map of bullshit enemies, platforming traps where if you make one simple mistake it tanks your health so bad that you’re already starting the battle with a handicap.

And I’m writing this all out and I don’t know why I’m still playing. Maybe it’s because I was so excited for it. Maybe it’s because there is still so much I do still like about it. I don’t know. I do know that when I pick it up to play I’m either having a great time, raging at some unfair action on screen, or feeling this great pit of disappointment in my stomach. This was supposed to be my game of the year, and here I am moaning about it.

And maybe I’m sad about it because I am not good enough for it. I’m not the best, but I pride myself at being good at videogames, that I was the person a friend reached out to when they couldn’t beat a certain boss in Hollow Knight, and now I’m listening to the chorus of people online insinuating that the problem I have is that I have to git gud.

Still – I’m playing the game. I’m ten hours in. I don’t think I’ve given it a full shake yet. So we’ll see. How much can I take before I give up on it entirely?