Preemptive Retaliation

Redrafting my novel is taking a lot longer than expected. At the end of last year I predicted that I would be done with the first draft around February. I think, taking into account the momentum at that time, I would’ve been finished with the second draft by the end of May. Now we’re rounding off July and I say I’m about a third of the way through? So yeah, a bit longer than expected.

Part of this is due to a complete procrastination of my part. Redrafting means editing which means getting right into the slurry of it all and trying to prise out something that makes sense, that has merit and meaning. It’s here that I start noticing the glaring inconsistencies in my story and characters, my contradictory often wishy-washy message, and the growing horror that I am actually veering drastically away from what my original vision was. This was supposed to be a novel about imposter syndrome! About anxiety! And here I am hung up on talking robots and the ethics of generative AI.

Still, I am dragging my way through it. Paragraph by paragraph. It won’t get done unless I get it done, and that anticipated end date of May would be slipping further and further away.

Maybe I should give myself until October to finish it. There’s something pleasing about cranking out a book every year and a half. That’s a good rate of pace, a sellable rate of pace.

Speaking of which – I have a simple task app on my phone that I use voice activation with, so when I’m out and about I can quickly say “Remind me at 8 to tell Anna about the thing” and “Send those emails to those people.” If I don’t tick these tasks off they stay there, waiting to be completed. Eventually I get round to them. For example, one is outstanding for seven weeks now which is “Call the dentist for a check-up” which I will get round to. I will get round to.

I have another one that’s older. It goes back to October last year, and it simply says, “Submit to the next round of agents”. I have a list of agents that I wanted to send The Making Of to, and I sent it off to 4 of them with no response. I have 6 more I can send to, but haven’t done yet. I am procrastinating on that too.