Preemptive Retaliation

I hope I never stop writing these things. I hope that when I’m forty-five, and then fifty, and then onwards, I hope that I keep a small piece of the internet for myself. A corner of an infinite mass, just for my own little thoughts and feelings, typed out in accidental poetry.

I hope that in seven or eight years, on a March night, I will open this blog and look back on what I was doing seven or eight years ago. Hello future me. How’s the hair? How’s the fitness regime? How’s the writing?

Do you know that the good old times are right now? I just read a blog of mine from fifteen years ago wherein I felt so lonely, and I was so dejected. I felt as though I was a burden on myself and others. An obligation hoisted on to well meaning people. It’s only now across the gap of time that I can see I was loved, and admired, and people flocked to me. I was an Interesting Person, and I didn’t know it. Currently I have been mulling to myself that I don’t feel like I’m impressive. I am not an impressive person. And even as I type that I can see my future self – salt and peppered, balding, slouched, time worn – I can see my future self shaking his head and tutting, his heart breaking because he knows that this young whipper-snapper really has all he needs and more, but he’s too blind to see it.

Hello future me. Are you feeling lonely? Are you feeling sad? Here’s the secret – right now you’re living in the good old times. Take a moment and appreciate that.