Preemptive Retaliation

When I was around thirteen I was off sick from school. I don’t remember if I was off sick as in genuinely off sick, or if I was off sick in that can’t-be-bothered-teenager off sick, but it doesn’t matter. I was off sick from school. Now this was before I got older and started watching decent films, before I saw how sick days were supposed to be spent with cars and songs and fancy lunches, and I spent my sick day the way a lot of thirteen year olds would’ve spent their sick day; I played the shit out of Final Fantasy IX.

I spent twelve solid hours on the couch wrapped in a blanket, a controller in hand. In that time I flew around the world, defeated countless monsters and played treasure hunt games with my chocobo. I played until my eyes burned and my arms felt heavy and languid. And then the next day I did it all again.

So when I heard that it was coming to steam I immediately followed it, and pretty much bought it a day or two after launch. As soon as the title music started playing I was overcome with a childish nostalgia that kept me grinning for the six hours I sat playing it. I was a kid again. It was fun.

There’s something about this Final Fantasy game that makes it stand out from the others. VII was the first one I ever played, and VIII was the first one I ever completed, but IX was my absolute favourite. It got rid of the angsty teen protagonist that sulked and pouted at everything, replacing it with a cheeky, fun loving criminal who cracked wise and inspired the people around him to do better. Everything was in brilliant colour, which only seemed to make the idea of death and inevitability more powerful. It had a villain that wanted to destroy the universe for, what I thought were, genuine, human reasons. 

It’s difficult to look past some of its glaring flaws though; the childish story, the convoluted plot, the loading times and long animations, the fact it’s clearly aimed at a younger demographic than me… I find myself rolling my eyes every few minutes at its anime-esque push for “friendship and family” shtick. The fate of the world is entrusted to a ragtag team of fighters, led by a sixteen year old thief? It reads like fanfiction.

But I am still enjoying it. I love rediscovering these magical, fantastical places where there are rare weapons and materials. I love seeing these little moments where the characters come together and have these little interactions. I love the huge battles and the way the story builds and builds. But, mostly, I love how it’s making me feel thirteen again, off sick from school, trying to level up my guys to beat the ultimate weapon.

I know that my judgement is going to be clouded by nostalgia, but itsn’t that kind of the point of these games? To be young and enjoy yourself?